How to stop spending it like you stole it

You may consciously want more money, but if you have a belief system that tells you that you are unworthy of it, or that it is unsafe for you to have it, you will struggle to keep hold of the money received. 

This is why 70% of lottery winners loose their winnings in the first few years of their win. 

They hadn't adjusted, or acclimatised to their new level of wealth, so they self-sabotaged the money and unconsciously rejected it. 

This probably looked like overspending on ridiculous purchases (might as well have fun before it goes), being overly generous to those around them (to keep their community/tribe close and on the journey with them) or wasting/loosing it from a lack of care or attention. 

I experienced this myself, when I started my first business and triped the turnover. Unconsciously, I wanted to be liked by the staff, and for friends and family to think I was still a good person, and not 'too full of myself;, so guess what - I spent the money like I stole it. Anyone who asked, was given a job with insanely generous rates of pay, I threw money at new ventures without thinking them through (shiny object syndrome) and it wasn't until my accountant pointed out that the amount of coffee I bought for the staff was downright EXCESSIVE and more than I had ever bought for myself, that I realised I was self-sabotaging my own success. 

Instead of planning for my future, which is what I had always done intuitively my whole life, I was living moment to moment and burning through cash. Things needed to change.

So how do you break the habit of unconsciously overspending, to create more healthy, intentional ways of spending, saving and investing instead?

(Disclaimer - This isn't about NOT spending the money that you have created, but doing so INTENTIONALLY, so that it brings you joy and isn't a form of self-sabotage). 

1 - Recognise the Pattern

The first step in correcting your ways, is realising that you have a problem to begin with. Take a moment to reflect on your current spending habits, and what you are making them mean about you as a person. Are you making yourself feel bad or wrong personally? Are you feeling guilt, shame or embarrassment? Where has this habit shown up for you before in life? Do you follow a similar pattern of behaviour i.e. hustling and having no money, receiving your pay check and blowing it within a day to 'reward' yourself' for getting through the month because it will all be gone soon anyway, so you might as well enjoy it while you can?? 

Journal on these questions and identify the patterns. Becoming the observer of your behaviours and creating radical self awareness, without coming from a place of judgement is a powerful tool to creating change.  

2 - What Are You Making This Mean About YOU?

What are you allowing money to mean about you? For me, I was letting money mean that when I had it I was worthy of being friends with, and when I didn't have money I wasn't. I had attached the belief that people with money are greedy and selfish, so I unconsciously was going out of my way to make sure people didn't think that about me, by being overly generous and an absolute walkover, despite my better judgement. This was a belief that was formed in early childhood and I was mirroring the attitude of my Mum who believed everyone with money had taken it from someone else more deserving, and that all wealthy people were mean, and shady. She had a huge distrust in anyone with money, because it served her to believe that she didn't have any wealth because she was a good person. It was self-preservation 101, because she would never want to be like THOSE people anyway, so it didn't matter that we always struggled financially because we were GOOD people. 

3 - Is it Actually True? 

When you tell yourself stories about your spending habits and money in general - are they actually true? 

Is it true that only bad people, who make their money in shady ways, are the only ones who can be wealthy? 

Does having more money make you smarter/more loveable/more worthy? - or are you already those things right now, just because you are?? 

4 - Create Interruptions

What are your danger times? Is it when you are out with friends and always jump in first to pay the bill? Is it late night online shopping when you are tired and looking for a dopamine hit of excitement, is it that friend that always pushes you to buy the extravagant purchase? Is it anything with a Paypal checkout, as its just to easy to buy without thinking. Is it Tik Tok stores? 

What are your patterns of self-sabotage? 

How can you start to interrupt those patterns so that you no longer unconsciously overspend? 

For me, I had to consciously decide that if I wanted to purchase something online, I had to wait 24 hours before hitting checkout, to see if the excitement was still there. Typically I would forget to go back and checkout my cart, so I wouldn't end up buying the thing I thought I wanted in the moment, the world would go on spinning and I would be £100 richer. I also had to create new boundaries with my family and my staff, so that EVERYTHING wasn't ON ME, every time our paths crossed.

Guess what, not everyone will be happy about it either. I had lots of weird energy, eye rolls and words spoken about me behind my back. This all confirmed my decision to me, that I was allowing people who didn't have my best interests at heart, to take advantage of my generosity, and that it had been self-sabotage on my part that had allowed them to do so. 

For you it could be deleting your Paypal account, freezing your credit card, sitting on your hands when the bill arrives during coffee, instead of jumping in and always offering to pay first, 

The goal isn't to stop spending your money on things that bring you joy and enrich your life in some way (yes shoes can enrich your life too), but to make sure you are doing so on purpose, rather than unconsciously from a place of sabotage. 

Let me know below how you ensure you are spending from a place of overflow rather than sabotage? 

IN MY BRAND NEW MONEY MINDSET/WEALTH ACTIVATION BOOK I WILL BE DIVING DEEPER INTO THIS WORK - YOU CAN PRE-ORDER YOUR COPY HERE!